you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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