Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
