I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
