i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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