i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Randomize
