For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My pussy is not your playground.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize