Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
