i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
