she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
