I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
