He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
