Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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