oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
