Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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