john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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