i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
