i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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