As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize