You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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