Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
