Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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