I want to make a zoo with you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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