We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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