i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
