Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I want to be your penis for a week.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
