its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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