You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
