I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
