You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
