I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
