His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
