idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize