ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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