i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
