I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
