and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
