It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
