thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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