How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
