SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
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