so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
