No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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