He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
