That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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