mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
