where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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