My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
