i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
