me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
