It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
