She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
