the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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