How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
