I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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