You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
