1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
