did you get engaged???
look no pants
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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