Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Please, let me fuck your mom
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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