I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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