The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
