Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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