you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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