i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
