Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
