Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
