I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
