Screwed.edu
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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