Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
