Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
