32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
