Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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