I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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